A year ago today, I would have given you the world. You held my hands in yours, your eyes never leaving my face as you asked me to be yours…
You loved me but you always made cry
I may have smiled but my heart was still strangled
And though I still care about you, I understand why you won’t contact me (knowing that it breaks my heart), I hate to admit you were right all along, I’ll swallow my pride and listen to you (one last time) and be with the person that I deserve and that deserves my love….
I used to dream about our future,
But you always blamed me for my past
You would yell at me
And though you’ve never laid a hand on me
Your touch still haunts me
And I feel like ill never be able to love the same way again
I watched your effort lessen and your affection disappear
The light in your eyes was gone, and you would always look for a new level cause you complained you were never satisfied
You would put others before me
You would ignore me when I cried
Tell me I was being a child
Made me feel so small in front of our friends
I wasn’t important to you
You would push away my hugs
Not return my kisses
Said I was being too much
When all I wanted was for you to love me
And I know you loved me, and thank you for still caring
But I’m sitting here in religion 111 and I realize that I don’t deserve your fickle heart and you shouldn’t take this much space in my heart and my head and my everything, because you lost me a long time ago and I couldn’t inspire you enough and you could never complete me.
And here I am being a fool,
Here this one,
Who would find me worthy of being loved despite my faults
Who would do almost anything for me
Someone I could submit to so long as he loves me completely
Someone who cares enough to help me change for the good
And inspire me and not discourage
And respect me and comfort me
And though it’s too soon to tell, I can see a future with him…
So maybe my fear of meeting you in the future by chance, and seeing you in uniform and it breaking my heart, maybe it could happen, but my heart is at ease, because I know everything happens for a reason, and it may hurt, but it’s for the best because its part of God’s plan…
