My name is April De Dios, and this is part of my story [08.23-08.27]
Soo as I’ve told myself over, time and time again, that little but big, simple yet complicated reminder, I have a hard time listening to myself; but how can I help it? I go too far and end up falling out. Yet, to be so distant allows for infestation, unwanted, feared, [un-named being]. These insecurities, these mindless thoughts, they fill my heart and mind, occupying my dreams and my well-being. Then I’ll just sit and wait, while the world passes and I’ll grab every opportunity coming my way.
I asked for some inspiration; something I have not done in a long time. But the thing that really surprised me bout it was who I asked it from. Typically, I would run to someone I’ve known for years, but the opportunity came across me through a simple Facebook status: “bored..text it :/” So I gave her the Reader’s Digest version of the whole shananagang, and she really helped me out for the better. Sure I’ve heard those words before, but those same words coming from a fairly new friend via FB and text, is quite a marker for me.
Now, after this whole week, first full week away from my comfort zones, away from the usual familiar faces, basically hectic schedule every hour!! Today, I truly became heart-broken, by the most simplest things. It didn’t take a lot, never really does, and today I will be sad. I will be sad for today and today only. I will have my time to ‘grieve’ about the littlest things for just today. I will complain like my problems are the only ones that exist just for today. And when today passes, I will be less selfish, and the world will continue on its regular path.
Roses are red, filipinos are brown. You mess with us and you're going down. My sick pride, I will not hide. My Filipino race, I will not disgrace. My Filipino blood, flows hot & true. My Filipino peeps, I will stand by you. I will be a proud Filipino till the day I die. Our sick flag, always stands high. Filipino pride in my mind, Filipino blood is my kind. So step aside and let me through, cause it's all about the Filipino crew; ♥
omgudnessgudness!!! all i cn say is i’m exhausted!! ahaha.. i luv colaa, the lifestyle here is bliss and i’m on my own.. i do hv to admit, it was getting pretty nerve-racking in the first few hours all-alone, but going out that nite, and running errands today turned it all around =] i cn finally realx for now, cuz class starts on thursday..
I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile; how much I love your laugh. I day dream about you off and on, replaying our conversations; laughing at funny things you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time we’re together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I like the boys with the swag. With the fitted hats, and the fresh shoes. The tight abs, and the shirts that fit. I like the boys with big arms, and the nice cars. The straight A’s and the personality to win any girl’s heart, but they don’t use it to their advantage. I like the boys with the charming smile and the pretty eyes. The heart of gold, and the face of a bad boy. I like the boys who have time for their girl, and the respect and pride of a lion. Ambition and loyalty. And just the way they talk to you, every single part of you just wants to glow…
But who the fuck am I kidding ? They don’t exist. HA.